Sex Drive: How to “Feel the Love” More Often

This is a common reason for visits to the clinic, but not one that people find easy to talk about. Part of our job is to make the conversation easier by helping patients understand that there are a lot of potential reasons for low libido. 

For men, the most common issues are: 

  • Low testosterone
  • Prescription medicines like anti-depressants
  • Too little or too much exercise
  • Alcohol and drug use
  • Smoking
  • Psychological issues like depression, stress, relationships problems

About 4 out of 10 men over age 45 have low testosterone. While testosterone replacement therapy remains somewhat controversial, it is a common solution to the problem. We prefer a different approach.

For women, the most common issues are:  

  • Hormonal changes, especially during menopause, pregnancy & breastfeeding 
  • Prescription medicines like anti-depressants 
  • Too little or too much exercise
  • Alcohol and drug use. 
  • Fatigue/exhaustion from caring for young children or aging parents
  • Mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression
  • Stress, such as financial stress or work stress
  • Poor body image and low self-esteem
  • History of physical or sexual abuse, or previous negative sexual experiences
  • Relationship issues like lack of connection, unresolved conflict, or trust issues
  • Poor communication of sexual needs and preferences

As with men, our approach is multi-faceted and involves getting to the root of the problem.  

There are, however, some general recommendations that are helpful for everyone: 

  1. Become an “oxytocin farmer.” You can increase your “love hormone” by connecting to your sweetie in particular, but also by connecting to others, too. We wrote about it here.
  2. Get more sleep. Turn off the TV and go to bed earlier – just do it!  Feel more rested, and you’ll little feel more in the mood, too.
  3. Get outside and exercise every day. It only takes 30 minutes and it will change EVERYTHING to do with your health, including sex drive.
  4. Talk to a health professional who understands hormones and bio-identical hormone replacement therapyThese docs are really good at assessing how your hormones are out of balance and what to do about it!