Dear 40 & 50-Year-Olds

Dear 40 & 50-year-olds,

It’s me. Your future self. We’re over 70 now. (Can you believe it? Where did the time go?)

I was going to ask you if you wanted the good news first, or the bad, but I decided that you can’t be trusted with the choice, so I’m making it for you.

Here’s the Good News: We’re still alive! We survived the accidental-death teen years, the middle aged heart-disease-roulette, and we’re actually past most of the worst cancer period as well. Yes! 

Even better, all those things we worried about in middle-age, like money and jobs and petty disagreements with your sister and whether or not the leather seat option on the new car we didn’t need was worth it? It turned out that none of it mattered. Everything turned out fine. 

Who knew?

Here’s the Bad News: We’re a complete wreck, physically. 

It’s not good. We’ve finally reached that point we talked about, where we would “slow down and enjoy life” and guess what? It turns out it’s kinda hard when you can’t climb the stairs without getting winded, you’re too stiff to get down on the floor and play with the grandkids (yes, we’re grandparents), and half your friends are dead from doing the same stupid stuff we did for too long.

Oh boy. Where to begin. A lot’s happened since I was you.

Did you know that right now, we’re on three different medications for conditions we could fix with a little exercise? Of course, we don’t actually fix them. I mean, let’s just say it: we’re fat. Even walking is tough. 

We’re financially comfortable, sure. But physically, we ache like a bad country song. Sleeping is tough. Our memory is shot to hell, and every trip to the bathroom is some weird combination of winning the lottery and being water-boarded.

And our libido? It’s in the basement. Right next to that stupid elliptical trainer we never used.

By now you must be wondering why I’m writing to you. (How am I’m doing it, you ask? Writing to you through time? Hey – it’s 20+ years in the future. There have been some changes. But, I digress.)

Here’s the thing: This was all avoidable. 

Our lousy health right now is your fault. Which means it’s our fault, but let’s not split hairs, okay? There are so few remaining.

You see, you’re choosing what our life at 70 is like right now. Everything you put into your body – all the booze, extra calories and crappy food. Everything you do with your body, like watching TV, pretending one game of soccer or hockey a week is exercise, commuting for hours on end. Everything you think–I hate my spouse, I hate my job. All of these choices you are making today are laying the foundation for what life is going to be like when you’re a 70-something. They are creating my reality right now. 

Well, thanks for nothing. In just a few minutes a day you could have changed our future, but you didn’t. 

I am sympathetic, though. After all, I was you. Am you. Whatever. The point is that if I could go back and do it differently I would. But I can’t (we have time-travel correspondence, but no wormholes), so the best I can do is warn you: You need to take this stuff seriously.

  • No consistent cardio exercise now? It’s a heart attack or stroke waiting to happen.
  • No consistent weight bearing exercise now? Osteoporosis and poor sexual function.
  • Too much booze? Alzhemier’s and mood disorders.
  • Too much lousy food? Increased weight and diabetes. 

I know 20 wasn’t that long ago, and in those magical years you could put on 10 pounds and take it off by skipping dessert for a week. You could have a hangover that didn’t last for days, and try a new sport with only a couple of bruises instead of a torn Achilles tendon. 

That ship has sailed my dear friend. This is a final you can’t pull an all-nighter for. Cramming for health exams just doesn’t work.
 
I know you still feel 20 in your mind….and believe me, so do I sometimes. There are days when I feel like I can reach out and touch that time like it was yesterday. But I can’t. It’s gone. And it isn’t coming back. 

But you do get to choose for the days ahead. You get to choose how to spend the time now, and as a result, how your future days will be filled, and how they’ll feel.

They say life is short, but don’t believe it. Life is long, it turns out. The days never stop stretching out ahead, they just look a little less inviting all the time when you don’t take care of yourself. 

I know it’s hard. I know you’re busy. But please: just try. Harder. For us.
 
Love,

Your 70-Something Cranky Self